Good-bye for now.

4.1.2021 Dear dad, What if you knew you were going to die? What if you were told three days before? Only you knew. Would you have told us? Would you have kept it to yourself? Would you have told mom? You loved each other unlike anything or anyone else. You were made one in an […]

Read more

Burnt almonds.

3.3.2021 Dear dad, One of my new favorite things is making almond butter. It is probably the best day of the week. I buy a package of raw almonds, roast them, and stick them in the food processor. The process is magical and the taste so much better than a jar from the store. Better […]

Read more

Phase 2020.

12.27.2020 Dear dad, I think this year may have been my favorite Christmas. Or at least one of the best in a long time. Maybe that sounds crazy or impossible in a year ravaged by a pandemic. I know there has been so much loss and heartache. I do not intend at all to dismiss […]

Read more

What was I scared of?

12.11.2020 Dear dad, I didn’t see you. Mom asked me if I wanted to. I said no. I was scared. I was scared of you. I was scared of me. What would happen to me seeing your lifeless body when seeing your body become lifeless had threatened to ruin everything inside of me? Your voice […]

Read more

5v5 brings out the worst in us.

11.13.2020 Dad, We played a five versus five tournament at training last night. With the rest of the season postponed until the spring, we don’t have any games to prepare for, so training has been mostly technical activities and small games to goal. After the fall season was over in college, we often would do […]

Read more

A far green country.

9.13.2020 Dad, A far green country. It is a track on The Lord of the Rings film score, but it is also Denmark. In the movie, the far green country is the Shire, where the hobbits live. It is where Bilbo, Frodo and Sam are from. At the end of the first Hobbit movie, the […]

Read more

The arena.

8.19.20 Dad, I have been waiting on this a long time. Mulling over when and how to express something so lofty. So precious as life. Like holding a bird in your hands. Cupping them firmly enough so he doesn’t fly away but gently so as not to harm him. I think the truth is often […]

Read more

Upper room.

5.31.2020 Dad, I’m still only playing at love. I’m still only playing with black lives. I’m not trying to know their world but pull them into my own. Use the Dream [Between the World and Me] that burdens them to clothe their beautiful black bodies and redeem their inhumane lives. But it cannot. The white […]

Read more

Posts navigation