The Pharisee in me. [Part I]

Dear You, The root of the name “Pharisee” in Hebrew is p-r-sh, meaning “to separate.” The Pharisees distinguished themselves from other Jews by their “legal scrupulousness”, the precision in which they studied the Torah, and their emphasis on the “extrabiblical ‘tradition of the fathers’” (bibleodyssey.org, Pharisees). In Matthew chapter 12, the Pharisees see the disciples […]

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Pride to panting.

Dear dad, You’re gone, you’re never coming back. My heart feels like it could explode. I look for you. Look at the pictures of you on the table by my bed. Hear you in the songs you used to listen to. Taste you in a cup of coffee in the morning with a pastry. Smell […]

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Transparen(me).

I fear feedback from people because I fear it from the Lord. I fear Him telling me no to my plans and forget that what He has is better, though He has constantly shown me this and done it in my life- the whole shattering expectations in the best way bit. On the same wavelength, […]

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Treasure of the desert.

To You, “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the Devil.” (Matthew 4:1 NIV) I just finished reading a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is totally brilliant, and I recommend reading it. I am sure I didn’t get all the messages the author was intending […]

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Mom and me.

Something I knew going into this next step was that God was giving my mom and I time to have some reconciliation and healing in our relationship. Yes, I decided to move home to get the best training for soccer, but this is clearly not just about me, as it never is because God weaves […]

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Before You Go.

Dear dad, Michelle and I watched Field of Dreams last night, one of your favorites. I never asked you why it was though. I would assume partly the baseball side of it, but most likely there is more than that. I never asked you about your relationship with your dad because I never knew him. […]

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Why letters

As long as I can remember, I have always liked to write. Never minded papers in school and almost always have a notebook on hand to trap thoughts in ink before they’re lost. Sometimes I use writing as a clarifying or an emptying from everything going on in my head. Can’t say it always proves […]

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Afraid of me.

“By way of conclusion, I offer for the reader’s meditation a beautiful dialogue between Jesus and a contemporary Spanish spiritual writer, who has had a close relationship with our Lady since childhood and who has chosen to remain anonymous. ’Have you ever wondered which of all things you experience causes me the greatest joy?’ ‘No,’ […]

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A Soul Ache

Dear dad, You couldn’t hug me; you couldn’t hug mom or Adam. You couldn’t wrap your arms around us to make us feel safe or give any sort of touch to comfort us. Not only can I not remember the last thing I said to you or you said to me, but I also can’t […]

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To Dad: [8.5.19]

Dear dad, Lord, where am I going to go? I run to where? There is no place to run from You. I try to get away, to escape Your gaze, but it finds me still. I cry and wail as a baby thinking I’ve been abandoned. I’m in Your arms, yet I continue to sob, […]

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